Posted by: Greta Jaeger | September 21, 2009

It’s a state of MIND

I had a client tell me about two weeks ago “It isn’t an age it is a state of MIND”. You may know what she means she was discussing with me the changes that have taken place for her and how she now experiences more happiness and joy. Patrice was the kind of person two years ago that would have told you that joy is not something you can experience daily. Her main goal was to be content and not irritated. When I first mentioned the idea of JOY she reacted almost physically in her rejection of the concept sputtering and stating “no joy, is not a goal to have”. I gently challenged her belief and at this point she was not willing to give up the idea that joy was attainable except in small blips when we have amazing things happen to us.

I have helped many women work through this block in their lives. This belief that Happiness is fleeting and being joyful is just a fairytale. At some point in our lives we loose the passion for life and the wonder that we had as children. We convince our selves that contentment is a goal that is realistic and attainable where JOY and Happiness just lead to disappointment because they are not sustainable. And you are right they are not sustainable because we look for our good moods outside of ourselves. I calls this our personal compass and it is pointed in the wrong direction it must be pointed north and we are NORTH.

The radical idea I am suggesting to you is you produce and sustain your mood despite what those around you do or say. YOU can be made mad, sad or glad. YOU choose the emotion you experience. Once you get this concept fully you can practice controlling your mood. This is what Patrice meant when she told me “Its not an age it is a state of MIND”.

Homework: Taking responsibility for your emotions is a great way to start

When you hear yourself say “She made me so mad” change it to “So I chose to get mad.”

Controlling your emotions is the next step:

Practice taking a deep breath when you feel a strong emotion coming on. Inhale through your nose down into your belly and then exhale fully through your mouth do this several times it will help you calm down.

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